I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
