Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Best friends brother. Beat that.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
