exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
