Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I am mentally ready for anal.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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