whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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