Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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