You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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