Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
