Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have already put on my inside pants.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
do nipples grow back?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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