it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
