Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
