If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
