I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
