Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
