u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
