Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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