Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
