i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
