Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
