It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
