would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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