Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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