I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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