My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
well you can't waste a boner
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
