I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
