i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
