call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
