whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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