Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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