the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
