My room smells like vodka and shame
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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