I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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