Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
