I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
