but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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