I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
