btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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