I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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