Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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