i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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