I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i think i have two assholes
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
