she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
