bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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