I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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