I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
