Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
