I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
