I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
