I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
