shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
